Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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