we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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