my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
