i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
