How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
