you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
