dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
