I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
