apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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