I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
