Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
