We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
