I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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