I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
