Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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