You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They are going to name an STD after you.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
