i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
