He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
