I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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