am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
