We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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