Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
