his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
