could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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