a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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