If i come over, it means nothing
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
