Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
