he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
