I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
