i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
