if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
