If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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