well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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