Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
