do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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