next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
