She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
