We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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