you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize