A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She is in my trunk
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
