So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
where are my eyebrows?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
