Barsexuality is the new black.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
