: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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