God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
