Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
