trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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