I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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