I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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