life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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