You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
