she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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