PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
