so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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