Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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