How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
