I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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