I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
