the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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