That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
