Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
