carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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