Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
