He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
